


You're Only As Old As You Feel

by Humansunshine



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec believes every word that comes out of Magnus' mouth, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, M/M, Nerd Simon Lewis, mention of Assassin's Creed: Origins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 16:59:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13979556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humansunshine/pseuds/Humansunshine
Summary: Alec has always been fascinated by Magnus' stories about the past, and all the historical figures he's encountered.Shame almost none of them are true.





	You're Only As Old As You Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Rou's tweet: https://twitter.com/magnutted/status/974008159160369154
> 
> I literally wrote this in the last hour so let me know if you spot any mistakes.

Alec wasn’t sure he’d ever been to Simon’s place before. It was a glorified shed, tucked in a corner of the docks opposite the Jade Wolf; Alec was sure he’d remember knocking on the huge iron door. If it were up to him he wouldn’t be here at all, but Magnus needed more vampire hair, and Simon needed a haircut, and had promised Magnus the cuttings in exchange for Magnus’ help buying some new clothes. 

Magnus had a last minute meeting with a client,one who’d called in the middle of the night and spoke in quick, furtive tones, and so Magnus had been busy brewing in his apothecary all day. Alec figured he’d swing by to Simon’s and pick up the hair on his way back from the institute. He liked doing Magnus favours. He always looked surprised when Alec handed him a gift or did something unexpected; no matter how long they’d been together, there was a part of Magnus that couldn’t quite believe that Alec wanted to do things for him. 

Simon was taking ages to answer the door. Was he in? Alec knocked again, and listened for movement on the other side. He could vaguely hear some shouting coming from the other side of the door, and in a few more seconds it was wrenched open, Simon looking harassed as he stuck his head out. “Alec?” 

“Hey,” Alec nodded, digging his hands in his pockets. “Are you alright?” 

“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, I was just playing video games. What’s up?” Alec couldn’t blame Simon for looking worried; the two of them had literally nothing in common, and it wasn’t like they were particularly close. He probably thought Clary had been kidnapped by the monster of the week or something.

“I just came by to pick up that hair for Magnus? Is that alright? Just thought I’d do something nice for him.” Alec explained, and a grin broke out on Simon’s face.

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. You guys are so freakin’ cute I can’t cope. Come on in, man.” 

Alec smiled a little as Simon led him inside, having gotten used to Simon’s intense enthusiasm for everything Magnus-and-Alec by now. “You’ve got a nice set-up in here. I thought it’d be damp and gross.” 

“It is, kinda,” Simon shrugged, looking around at the grey concrete walls, “but it’s home. It’s better now I’ve got a proper bed and a TV. Do you play video games?”

“Not really,” Alec answered, “went to the arcade a few times with my Aunt in San Fran when I was a kid, but I wasn’t ever that interested.”

“I guess when you can kill weird monsters in real life, most video games lose their charm, huh?” 

Alec smirked. “Something like that. What are you playing?” On the screen was a figure dressed in rags, armed to the teeth with bows and blades. There were lots of statistics next to him, and Alec perched on the arm of the sofa to take a closer look. 

“Oh, Assassin’s Creed. Hey, you’d probably like it. You use a bow and shit. Check it out,” Simon vaulted over the back of the sofa and grabbed the controller, coming out of the menu and going back into the game. “See, right now I have to kill everyone in this camp and grab some information.” 

Simon had his guy hidden in the bushes, inching round the camp and picking them off one by one. Alec watched him for a few moments, his head tilted to the side. 

“That’s not very efficient.” Alec hummed, “you should go up on that high building in the middle and just shoot them all with arrows. There’s less chance of you getting hit that way.” 

“Well, of course you’d say that.” Simon chuckled, pausing the game again and going to the controls tutorial. “Here, try it. You got time, right?” 

Alec checked his watch. Magnus wasn’t going to be done until six, and it was only 4.30. He took the controller from Simon. “Yeah, I’ve got time.” He shrugged, turning his attention to the weird knobs on the controller. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, I can sort of see why mundanes like video games. Although these bows and arrows are bullshit; you don’t have to account for wind or anything. A child could do this.” 

“Says the guy who got killed in the first thirty seconds after running out of arrows.” Simon teased, watching Alec’s eyes flick across the screen with amusement. He’d never seen Alec so engaged in anything frivolous. It was nice to see him like this, enjoying something and not thinking about something life threatening or world-ending. 

“Listen, the controls are hard to get used to, I am a novice, give me a break,” Alec tutted, “oh shit, is that supposed to be THE Cleopatra?”

Simon nodded, “yeah, yeah, you work with historical figures in each Assassin’s Creed game. This one is pretty cool, it’s the most ancient one, it’s set in like… 300BC or something, I don’t know. A long ass time ago.”

“Wait…” Alec paused the game, and narrowed his eyes at Simon. “I thought Cleopatra was around like 400 years ago.” 

Simon tilted his head to the side. ”They don’t teach mundane history at the Clave schools, huh?” 

“But…” Alec frowned, “Magnus said that he slept with Cleopatra. He references it at like, every opportunity. And his file says he’s no more than 450 years old.” 

“Oh my God…” Simon pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. “You… You know Magnus is full of shit, right? Like… Half of his stories are utter bullshit? Did you not know that?”

Alec’s eyes widened. “So he didn’t sleep with Michelangelo either?!” 

Simon threw back his head and laughed. “Oh, Alec, my sweet Prince of the shadow world… No. No, he did not.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, hot stuff!” Alec called as he let himself into the apartment a little while later, “where are you?” 

“In the kitchen!” Magnus replied, and Alec followed the sound of his voice, trying to keep the smirk off his face. “Hey!”

“Hey,” Alec hummed, kissing his boyfriend softly on his mouth. “I have something for you.” 

Magnus’ face lit up like it always did when Alec surprised him, and Alec couldn’t resist kissing his cheek as he pulled the jar of Simon’s hair from behind his back. Magnus took it from him and gave him a gentle hug. “That was very sweet of you, Alexander. Thank you.” 

“It’s no big deal, I just swung by Simon’s place on the way home from work, thought I’d save you the portal. I actually had a good time hanging out with him.” Alec admitted, picking up the wooden spoon next to the stove to stir whatever delicious concoction Magnus had been making. He gave it a taste and hummed. “You’ve had this cooking all day, haven’t you?” 

“Made it right after you went to work,” Magnus shrugged, wrapping his arms around Alec from behind. “What did you and Simon talk about?” 

Alec smirked, keeping his tone casual. “Well, he was playing this video game about Ancient Egypt, it was very educational.” 

“Yeah?” Magnus asked, distracted by the soft kisses he was pressing to the nape of Alec’s neck. 

“Mmmhm… It even had Cleopatra in it. Your old friend Cleo.” 

Magnus hummed, pressing his nose into Alec’s hairline. “Wonder if they got her face right.” 

Alec laughed, turning around in Magnus’ arms. “You’re so full of shit. He told me that Cleopatra was around like 2,000 years ago, and I know you can’t time travel.” He poked Magnus in the side. “I can’t believe I believed that you actually made out with Cleopatra.” 

Magnus at least had the grace to look sheepish. “It’s cute when you believe those stories. I couldn’t resist.” 

“It’s cute that you think 400 years of life isn’t impressive enough.” Alec snorted, his hands stroking Magnus’ sides. “I couldn’t believe it when Simon told me. I was like ‘NO!’ Simon was laughing so hard he almost started crying blood.” 

Magnus laughed, stroking Alec’s cheek. “I’m sorry I made you look foolish in front of your new best friend.” 

“Nah, it was kinda funny. I should’ve clocked that not all those stories could have been true. I mean, your line about the Dead Sea…” 

“If I’m being honest, I use that line every chance I get.” Magnus admitted.

Alec pulled away, and grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard, holding it up with a floppy wrist. “I was alive,” he said in an melodramatically foppish voice, “when the Dead Sea was just a lake that was feeling a little poorly.” 

“Oh my God, shut up,” Magnus whined, plucking the wine glass from Alec’s hand. “Alright, alright, now you have teasing material, at least have some grace about it.”

“Nope,” Alec insisted, popping the ‘p’. “I’m never letting this go.” 

Magnus groaned, burying his face in Alec’s chest. “I should’ve known better to try and pull a fast one on you.” 

“Oh, also, I know what I want for Christmas.” Alec announced, running his fingers across the short hair on the back of Magnus’ head. 

“Yeah?”

“I want an Xbox One. I had fun playing with Simon, and he said if I had my own we could each play in our own houses but together, which would be cool because then I could turn off his small talk if I wanted.” Alec explained, eyes alight with childish excitement, and Magnus smiled, going on his tiptoes to kiss his nose. 

“I can do that.” 

Alec sighed happily, kissing Magnus’ cheek. “So… Which stories were actually true?” 

Magnus grinned. “Well I did actually kidnap Marie Antoinette in a hot air balloon…”


End file.
